Christmas Letter

Sometimes you go through periods of life when you get the feeling that you are about to walk on the moon. When the transitions come fast, the learning curve is steep, and you become more and more convinced that only His faithful hands and His strength are going to get you there. You don’t know exactly what the next step will bring, or how strong gravity will hit you, but your heart flutters with incredible excitement at the possibilities of shedding the familiarity of the known. Every end brings a new beginning. This year has put me in the classroom of trusting God, one step at a time.

It started with the simple act of moving my tassel from one side of my mortarboard to the other. In that moment, my years of formal education came to a close and adulthood was given free reign of my responsibilities and actions. I honestly couldn’t have imagined a better college experience than the one I was given through my four years at George Fox. The relationships that were built, the experiences breathed, and the knowledge gained have changed my life forever. I have been stretched in my perspective, talent, and faith, and the expansion has brought beauty in ways unimaginable. One of these ways has been a girl named Mandee (smile). We met on a work week to Malibu, a YoungLife camp in the Canadian gulf islands, spring break of my junior year, and I have been overwhelmed by the way God has written our story together over the past year and a half. Her incredible heart for people, sense of adventure, love of laughter, humility in faith, and her insuppressible joy have captured my heart and I absolutely cannot wait to see how God directs our steps in the months to come.

After graduating, I had the opportunity to travel to South Africa as a student leader through May Serve, a program at George Fox that sends a serve team to different parts of the world every year during the month of May (my sophomore year I went to Brazil through the same program). Being both a leader and a student found its balance in the gift of being able to mentor many of the guys on the trip as we were stretched by the challenges and struggles around us as we served. I felt overwhelmed by how, in the sifting that happens on a missions trip, God would show another way to glorify Him as my weaknesses were washed out. I was challenged every day by the perspectives that my teammates brought to our nightly debriefings and reminded of how the workings of the kingdom of God are realized through the facets of community.

Coming back from South Africa I began the job search, and both my network and craigslist.org became my best friends. As I sent out résumés and dressed up for interviews, God continued to close doors and has led me to start my own freelance design business. It has been both an exciting and challenging endeavor, but one in which God has continued to encourage and affirm. I continue to hunt for full time positions, but have learned to be content and surrendered in the waiting. And as I look to the next year, I can't help but smile with excitement. God is good and I am in His hands. I hope you are doing so good and that you see His fingerprints all over your life. Merry Christmas.

What He Has Done

Tonight I stared at my computer screen for the thousandth time looking at something that I created. As a designer, this is an nearly hourly occurrence: a goal comes across my desk and I set to work with the skill set that the Master Creator instilled in me to work every angle, feeding off of every creative rabbit trail, until I come to the point I was at tonight. The point when all the tweaking is done; where I pause, zoom out so I can see the entire canvas, sit back, and look it over. It rarely bares any resemblance to what I set out to create, and chances are it will change a half a dozen more times before it is finalized, but in that moment I pause. And tonight it struck me. The finiteness of the process that I just described, collided with the eternal story of which today is but a wink. The immensity of what He has done and is doing, gave perspective to the temporal creation on the screen before me. While my days are consumed by my human creations: my plans, job, schedule, appearance... I realized my desperate need to take more moments to pause, sit back, zoom out so I can get heavenly perspective, and see what He has done.

Hymns

#1

There is a fountain in this land
flowing over the mountains and the sand
breaking down barriers of mortal man
against it the darkness will never stand

Fountain of no common water flow
with blood straight from Christ's holy brow
it cleansed my sin, made me white as snow,
changed my heart so the world would know

I praise you my Savior, I praise your name
that you would die and count it gain.
The scourge at your back, a crown of thorns
my soul to you of great reward

With Your hands and Your feet was nailed my sin
the sinful desires, the old man within.
So whenever the Devil, he tries to tempt me,
I'll point him to that rugged tree.

As the waves of my life, they ebb and flow
this thing I ask that they would show.
That no matter the storm, or the calm of the sea
that Jesus Christ, He reigned in me.


#2

Come and know, the healing of the Lord
where broken lives, and hearts can be restored
where boundless grace can cleanse the deepest stain
in endless love, you forever will remain
So come lay your burdens at the foot of the cross
forsaking all other loves, count this life lost

This is our God, He's our Redeemer King
who was, and is, and will always be.
He never changes, amidst the shifting sand,
He's the Rock of ages, in Him will I stand

Carefree In The Care of God

"Look at the ravens, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, carefree in the care of God. And you count far more."...

"If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?"...

"What I'm trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God provisions. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don't be afraid of mission out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself."

(excerpts from Luke 12:22-34)

You know when you've heard something over and over again, but it's never truly touched your heart? It hasn't touched until it has been prepared and readied by God to have His Word sink into the cracks and the furrows that He is plowing in your life. Reading these passages this morning, on a morning when I am anxious to hear back about a job, anxious to embark on the adventures that I see on the horizon, my heart was ready for these words.

"carefree in the care of God..." the picture that comes to mind is that of a child running around in a park under the supervision of their father; dashing from swing to slide to tree to water fountain, digging in the dirt, looking for grasshoppers, chasing ducks... without a care in the world. They are fascinated by the discovery of the day. The child lives in the freedom of trusting his father's care and provision. The father sits on the park bench watching with a gentle smile playing on his lips, convinced that he has the best job in the world. Do I give God the pleasure of trusting Him? I think about what it would be like if someone that I love more than anything was to distrust my provision and care... it would break my heart. But to have that same person live carefree in my care would give me so much joy. What if I were to live trusting that every day is "the day that the Lord has made" rejoicing in it? Not putting off my joy or rest until I hear God's voice, or until He gives me clear direction on my life, or I reach a certain milestone, or until I feel secure by the world's standards, but fascinated by the discovery of every day. Life is found in the in between times, in being unproductive, in stepping out of our schedule. The last couple of months I have begun to realize this more and more, and the truth that "he who is faithful in the small things will be lead into greater things" (or something like that... smile) Every day is a small thing that we can be faithful in, to trust His provision and His care... and the truth is that if I can't be carefree in the day that the Creator of the universe has made, then I'm out of luck (smile) Father teach me to trust you with every aspect of my life, to have a childlike faith, fascinated by the discovery of each day that you give me. Help me to live with open hands, filling my mind with your truth, eyes fixed on You. Knowing you is worth more than knowing the timing of the future... help me to give you the delight of my trust

South Africa Support Letter

Bambelea! (hold on to Jesus)

Holy moly, it has been almost two months since I stepped off the plane in Portland and it still feels like I am covered with the memories and smells of South Africa. It is an intense and beautiful country, people, and culture. It is a place of "cultural whiplash" where you drive from staying in a neighborhood with manicured lawns, iron fences, and cricket games; to plywood shanties, garbage strewn walkways, and soccer games on fields littered with rocks and debris. They are literally blocks away from each other, but miles apart in every other respect. During our month in Africa we experienced the full breadth of this divide. Serving soup at schools in the shanty towns, filling up everything from pencil boxes to old McDonald's cups so that those children might nave nourishment for a day; laying down sod for new soccer fields with the dream of having teams from the states come and play the teams of South Africa; visiting prisons, Tuberculosis hospitals, and AIDS homes, giving love and receiving faith; climbing Table Mountain in Cape Town and looking over a city of both extreme wealth, and acute disparity; working with young African adults who are striving to make their communities a better place through the Kingdom of God; and so so many other things.

I want to share a couple of memories from my time that I believe encapsulate what God has put on my heart through this trip. The first comes from the last day that we worked at the primary schools. For the last two weeks that we were in Paarl we taught life lessons in two different primary schools, spending a week in each. On the last day at the second school, we had finished our final lesson and were swarmed by these incredible kids that we had spent so much time with. They were running up to us with pieces of paper, t-shirts, notebooks, and any kind of writing utensil they could find and asking us for our autograph. It was one moment in my life when I felt like a rockstar (smile). When more and more kids started coming, something in me wanted to put myself on the same level as them, and as kids were coming up I started asking them for their autograph too. I didn't have any paper for them, so I used my arms instead. From my finger tips to my shoulders, every inch of my arms were quickly covered with the autographs of these kids; full sleeve tattoos of the names from the shanty towns. As we drove away from the school at the end of the day and I looked down at my arms I was struck by a verse from Isaiah, "... see I have engraved you on the palms of my hands..." The truth was that those names on my arms would wash off in the shower, but the greater truth was that those names would be engraved on the arms of God forever; and that my name is right next to theirs. The name of Ryan Wilmot, a white kid from Suburbia, USA is just as close to the heart of God as a child from Shantytown, South Africa. We are both loved with the same love that knows no bounds, covered with the same grace that sets us free, have been adopted into the same heavenly family, are equally in dependence on our Creator, and our names will never fade from His arms.

Every Sunday that we were there we attended a church service in the black and colored communities of the city, which was an incredible experience in itself. One of the common songs that we sang was "The Air I Breathe," and when I say "sang" I mean singing African style; totally abandoned, at the top of your lungs, with all your heart. The first time that this song was played during worship and we came to the chorus, my words were stopped in my throat. I looked around me at these people who literally have nothing, with their arms outstretched, joy stretched into smiles on their faces, and singing with all they have, "... and I'm desperate for you, I'm lost without you!" It occurred to me that I have never really experienced that reality as these people have. After the service these people will walk back to their one room shack and face another week of living day by day, trying to put food on the table, living by faith. They literally have nothing but Christ to depend on for provision. There are so many things for me as an American to be dependent on besides God, and for maybe the first time I understood with clarity that dependence on Christ was something that I would have to fight for. I have been abundantly blessed with a life that lacks for little, but my soul will always lack for much if I don't but God at the center of me. One of the last days of the trip we got to hear the testimony of one of the missionaries who helped found the organization that we were working with. She charged us to live life with open hands; to hold everything we have been given: talents, abilities, material goods, relationships, etc. in the palm of our hands. That this was how we become dependent on Christ. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him and belongs to Him, he can remove it from our lives just as easy as He has placed it there. He has a perfect plan for us in His Kingdom. Why not completely depend on His faithfulness?

I wish I could say that these were lessons that I have now learned through going to South Africa, but the truth is that these are life lessons that I will always be growing in. South Africa was the park that started the learning process. But it is just that... a spark. For these lessons to truly take flame in my life and change who I am, I must nurture them to allow God to fan them to life. I have learned so much about faith, God, leadership, teamwork, love, reconciliation, and trust... I pray that I will let these things take root in me.

In no way would this experience have been possible without your support. Your prayers and your finances were the springboard for this opportunity in my life and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that some day I might have the opportunity to support you in a similar way. To see my pictures from the trip as well as some from my teammates, you can visit www.photobucket.com. The username is "MayServe2009", and the password is "southafrica" If you would like to hear more of the story about South Africa of just want to touch base and say hey, my e-mail is rtwilmot@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you (smile). You are awesome! Thanks again so much.

In His hands,

Ryan

The Only Thing That Remains Unchanged

Graduating from college I'm coming to the realization day by day that everything changes. Good things, bad things, things you want to change, things you don't want to change, external things, internal things, things you plan for, and things that come unexpectedly. Some change comes subtly and is laid piece by piece over a long period of time (the things of the heart: character, relationship) and some comes quickly and mercilessly (the things of the world: responsibility, brokenness). The reality is that it is impossible to not change, there is no static position where we can sit down and take a breather and look at everything perfectly in place, because God wants us to change while He sustains. Looking at my life over the past few months I am overwhelmed by the alterations that being an adult has put into place. From car insurance to cell phone bills, every day tags on a little more responsibility to post college life. The phrase that has been running through my head in the midst of it all is that, in the midst of a world that is always changing, God is the only thing that remains unchanged.

So many times in my life there have been seasons or specific moments when I wish I could just freeze frame and wake up every day to have it be like that. Like in Joshua when God makes the sun stand still in the sky. But then I wake up the next day to find something new and better and different... something I never would have experienced had I stayed in that perfect moment. More and more I come to think that there is purpose behind why we as humans change. Let me use an analogy: as an artist, I have learned about the different elements of design... the things that make art dynamic and powerful and more than just ink on paper. One of these elements is contrast, and I believe the contrast of us as humans always changing and God remaining unchanged makes our lives and our relationship with God all the more powerful. It gives us peace; like sitting around a campfire and watching the flames lick around the wood while you sit unmoving in the dark, or like standing on a river bank watching the water flow by while you stand firm on solid ground. We were created to change, to move, to be transformed more into the image of our Creator. He indeed is our Solid Rock, our strong tower, our refuge in the storm. Change has new meaning when it's wrapped in the reality of God's love. We have to trust Him with change. To believe in His faithfulness, to make ourselves available to His working in us and through us. We have to live with open hands. When I was in South Africa during the month of May, we had the opportunity to hear the testimony of one of the missionaries we were working with. She, for the first time, really showed me the necessity of living life with hands wide open. Not clinging to our talents, dreams, relationships, hopes, normals, or possessions; but holding everything in the palm of our hands up to God. He is the One who gives and takes away, we don't have control. And instead of holding tight to the things that we know will change (which make us anxious, fearful, and frustrated), let us cling to the One who will never change (who brings peace). Who is the same today as He was yesterday and will be tomorrow. As it says in Philippians 4: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

So God change me in your sovereignty. Teach me to live my life with hands wide open and to believe.... to believe that You, the only thing that remains unchanged, love me more than I will ever know. What do I have to fear?

Pursuit

Sometimes I walk in on a conflict between my mind and my heart that makes me stop to listen. More often than not I end up predisposed to what my mind has to say, or rather entertaining the "what if's" rather than going with the assurance that holds my heart. This week I have been participating in Seven, a week of prayer and fasting put on through Solid Rock pursuing God for revival in Portland. I set out at the start of the week with awesome intentions (I feel like we always do- smile) of how I was going to spend this week intentionally in prayer for our city, that God would break my heart for what breaks His, and for the people God has put in my life, how it was going to be a week to remember my time in South Africa just over two weeks ago and pray for the people and the ministry that is at work there. I was also spurred on my the words of Mike Erie who spoke at Solid Rock several weeks ago, calling us to truly be desperate for God... to cry out to Him as our only hope for restoration, for healing, and for truth. Good intentions also included spending time in devotions daily and having time to journal and pray during the day... in all that it would be a week of spiritual retreat where I could pursue God intentionally and focus on Him. That is still so much the desire of my heart and I so thankful for the fact that God's character includes patience... there is hope for me yet (smile)

I sit here on the bring of day three of the fast realizing that I have not accomplished all that I had hoped for the week. It's easy for my heart to get discouraged... to feel like I'm not fasting for the right reasons and me not eating seems legalistic, or I'm not living any differently this week or spending as much time in the word as I want to... my mind comes up with a lot of arguments that label me as a failure. But maybe that's the point. That God meets us in our pursuit of Him and blesses us despite whether or not we meet the spiritual goals that we set for ourselves. I'm reminded of going to Tuesday morning bible study over the past year at Solid Rock and hearing Josh White say that, "the fact you are here means that you want a deeper relationship with God." The truth is that I heard those words as I was half asleep in sweats at 6am and that as much as I tried desperately to get something from the message every Tuesday morning, my tired mind didn't retain much. Josh was right... I do want a deeper relationship with God and that's why I was there early in the morning to learn about Him, and that's a lot of the reason why I'm fasting. But as the Word says, "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak", my heart fights to get me up every morning, or to get me to be faithful in devotions this week as I fast but my mind (or my flesh) sees the weakness and considers it failure, bringing emptiness to my pursuit. But then my heart came up with an analogy that has spoken louder than any argument my mind could muster up: what if faith is like the relationship between a father and son. The father gives his son an allowance to do with what he pleases: to spend or save, but it is the father's ultimate goal that the son would learn lessons in stewardship and have wisdom in how he uses it. What if one day the son comes to the father and offers up his allowance in an outstretched hand telling the father that he wants to give it to the homeless? His heart is in the right place... it's incredible that he wants to sacrifice what he has out of compassion. But the fact is that the allowance is only $.50 and that it's really not going to make that much of a difference in helping the homeless. But does the father reject the offering? Absolutely not! He takes it with a smile, so so proud of his son despite how effective his offering will be in ministry or the difference it will make. The father will bless the son for his pursuit of what he knows to be right. 

Maybe we should listen to our hearts and follow its leading more often. God loves our pursuit of him, whatever offering we bring, however small of baby steps we take, God will bless us for the desires of our heart because they long for Him. More and more I come to think that it's more a matter of the heart than anything else, more about believing God at His word and pursuing him even if we have to fight through our own pride and inconsistency. He wants us and it's not going to happen all at once. God didn't come to save spiritual giants but to nurture spiritual toddlers in their pursuit of Him. Let's listen to the voice in our hearts, the whisper of the holy spirit in our souls.